Co-parenting can be an immense challenge for many parents, but it is one embracing and becoming good at it. The irony is that you and your former spouse may have struggled to communicate toward the end of your marriage. Though the divorce process is emotionally complex, it is likely even more so for your children. They need you to be the best parent during one of the lowest points in your life. Furthermore, when you have shared legal and physical custody of your children, you must develop a new communication skill set.
Most courts and family law attorneys have come to accept that when the parents are fit and responsible, it is beneficial for the child to have time with both of them. Studies show a correlation between co-parenting conflicts and children’s behavioral or mental health issues (in the children). Co-parenting is a massive responsibility, and it is not a soft skill. It requires patience, dedication, and commitment from you and your spouse.
Protecting Valuable Time
Determining custody may be one of divorce’s most emotionally complex components. Don’t overlook that even when you and your spouse are on opposite sides of an issue, your values and goals may still be aligned. For the sake of argument, imagine two amazing parents who both want full custody of their children. (Though this is an unlikely outcome for either side, it could still be their original wish and goal.) The root of the problem is that you and your spouse want what is best for your children, but you disagree on what that will look like. After finding this common ground, you and your attorneys can work out a parenting plan in everyone’s best interest.
Even after the divorce is finalized, you may still have custody issues. What happens when the child has an event they want to attend during your scheduled time? Granted, your spouse cannot keep making plans to prevent your child from seeing you; this is a separate issue. But there could be an occasional one-off event. The best co-parents communicate with each other and find the best resolution for the family. Of course, you can insist that you hold firm to the plan, but being flexible is in everyone’s best interest over the long term.
The Increasing Costs of Raising a Child
Another source of argument is money. Even when you have child support payments, what happens when your spouse asks for extra money for extracurricular activities, medical bills, or anything else the child needs or wants? These are issues that you should discuss with your attorney while they are drafting and negotiating your parenting plan. There are multiple approaches to this; the answer will be the one you and your spouse can agree to.
- You can split medical bills.
- The parent who doesn’t include the child on their insurance plan pays for out-of-pocket expenses.
- Both parents can be responsible for paying equally for X amount of extracurricular activities per year, up to a specific amount.
If your child’s financial needs have changed because of a recent medical diagnosis, you can contact an attorney to modify the order, given the new circumstances. The plan can be reworked so both parents can support the child in the way they deserve.
Meet with the Attorneys at Fraser, Wilson, & Bryan, P.C.
The attorneys at Fraser, Wilson, & Bryan, P.C. are committed to helping you work through the complexities associated with child custody and visitation. The goal is always to do what is best for the child, and we discuss how to incorporate medical, educational, and other expenses into your parenting plan. Contact our office today to schedule your free consultation.
