Experiencing a divorce has emotional stages and hurdles. The result will be acceptance, but there are very difficult, emotional challenges along the way. Oftentimes, people going through a divorce are told they don’t have to do it alone. Lean on your friends, speak with your family, and trust your attorney.
If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve already been through this yourself and have a desire to help someone else get to where you are emotionally. Or you are just a kind friend or relative who wants to be supportive. Regardless of your reasoning, here are some things to focus on so that you can be there for someone else while they sort through the complex emotions brought on during a divorce.
New Routines
When you are married, you always have a partner—at least, that’s the intent. During a marriage, a couple gets into patterns surrounding the food they like to eat and the things they like to do together. After the marriage ends, there is a social void.
Invite your friend out with you. They may be interested in being an exercise partner or meeting for lunch to help create new patterns and activities. Don’t be surprised if they refuse or say they want to be alone. Eventually, they will be more open to going out with you or your group of friends. You don’t need to pester them, but check in with them, occasionally offering for them to join you.
You Don’t Need Advice
Maybe you are hesitant to reach out to a friend during a divorce because you don’t know what to say. What if they ask you what to do, and you don’t know how to respond?
The good news is that you don’t need all the answers—or any for that matter. Instead of being overly focused on what you are going to tell them, shift your focus towards letting them talk. Empathy can be more valuable than advice. Even if they say something that you don’t wholeheartedly agree with, simply say that you understand that they think or feel a certain way.
Offering Support
This can come in so many ways that you’re fully equipped to handle. For starters, offer to help them move. Some people may avoid packing because they don’t want to see the old pictures and boxes of Christmas decorations that could trigger intense emotions. Though they are going to need to deal with their feelings eventually, maybe it’s more than they’re ready for at the moment. But that need to move into that new home or apartment is pressing on them.
Another way you can be supportive is by not engaging in anger. When your friend is upset, you may see an easy solution to pile on by criticizing their former spouse. Although you may see it as a means of connecting, it may make you come off as judgemental. They might begin to question if you always disliked their ex and whether they should believe you now.
Fraser, Wilson, & Bryan, P.C.
If you take away one thing, remember that you don’t have to go through a divorce alone. Having a strong group of friends will help through the emotional challenges of the process. The reliable, dependable, and professional attorneys at Fraser, Wilson, & Byran, P.C. will manage the legal aspects so you can focus on yourself. Contact us online to schedule your free consultation.
