How To Meet Your Ex Spouse’s New Partner

There are intense feelings that surround separation and divorce. When the divorce process is finalized, there may come a period of relief or even mourning. But there are going to be new challenges to face afterward—mainly if you are co-parenting. 

When children are involved, there may come a time when your ex wants to introduce you to a new significant other. Though your divorce is complete, this is a new path with its own emotional complexities. 

A Return Of Feelings

After you divorce, you may experience a process similar to grieving. You are sad about the loss of your marriage. Eventually, you find acceptance and continue with your new life but in a different direction. 

When your ex says they want to introduce you to their new partner, this may reignite some feelings. And it may add some new ones. Is this new person going to replace you in the eyes of your children? No one is going to replace you. Your relationship with your kids is unique, as is their relationship with your ex’s new partner.

You’re A Parent, Not A Spouse

When you go to meet your ex-spouse’s new partner, approach it as a parent. Despite the circumstances surrounding the end of your marriage, avoid conflict. The sole purpose you are there is because this new person is going to be around your children. 

Instead of thinking of how this person is now dating your ex-spouse, consider how your children interact with him or her. Are your children comfortable and happy? Someone who is good with your children is likely the best outcome you can hope for. Wishing that your children don’t like him or her could be your version of being vindictive. 

None of this is meant to imply you cannot feel angry or betrayed. The point is that you keep these feelings away from your children. Make them comfortable during this transition in their lives. 

Things To Avoid

Resist any temptation to compare yourself to the new partner. It’s a question without an answer. If the meeting occurs, be kind, polite, and mature. There is nothing to be gained from being condescending, rude, or angry towards the new person. If this person is going to be around your kids, it’s in your best interest to maintain a healthy relationship with open lines of communication. 

Furthermore—and more importantly—your kids should witness this as well. Lead by example. Process your emotions away from your children and away from these meetings. 

Fraser, Wilson, & Bryan, P.C.
The divorce process is a significant event in your life. As you navigate some of the issues in your journey, let us handle the legal process for you. Contact Fraser, Wilson, & Bryan P.C. to schedule your free consultation. Not everything during this time has to be done so alone.